she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
