Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
id be glad to
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
