I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
