i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
