Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
