All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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