I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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