why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
