I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
