the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
