that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
