Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
