So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
