someone get that fucking seahorse.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize