fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
