As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
how does that bad decision feel?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
