I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
