Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
No subtext here. People are naked.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So much Jack, so little girl.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
