Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
