getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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