I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
