she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
