so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
