is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
