there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
