do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
