i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
