I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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