Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he puts the penis in happiness.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
