my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
