i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
