you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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