We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
