Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
