Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
