ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
