She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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