Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
