do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
