he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
