32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
