If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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