So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
