But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
