How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
