I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
