Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
