I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
