It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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