lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
