I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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