her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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