just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
